Competition… Good or Bad. Win by any means???

So I found myself looking back to when I was a kid playing club soccer. For me or at least what I know the cheating seemed to creep into sports around age 10. AGE 10!

I am sure that everyone has their own stories, but kids were taught from a young age that this is ok. We had kids in club soccer with fake birth certificates, fake identification etc… Parents knew about it and condoned it but that is not even really my point here… let’s take a trip with these kids throughout their lives.

Taught at a young age in sports (which is just a game) that it is ok to cheat. WHy on earth would they not do the same when they run into some difficult times at school. Heaven forbid they perform to the level of their peers. They didn’t have to in sports and their parents said it was ok, so why shouldn’t they just cheat in school? After all it is just a little cheat sheet in their pocket.

How about when they get their first job at the grocery store, retail store, or wherver else is hiring these days. How often do you hear about kids stealing a t-shirt, or some miscelaneous items and the parents are confronted about it and are super embarrassed. Most of the time the kids that steal it don’t even need it when you look at their upbringing.

How about that kid that is being pushed through life by his family and goes off to college… Now they are on their own. Time to have fun, let loose, get wild… Uh oh, now they have to wake up for class and they forgot they had a test so what do they do? You… cheat.

How about that kid that is a phenom athlelte. He is playing division one collge sports… He has been told all his life that he/she is the best. Has a bunch of yes men/women around them so in their mind they can do no wrong. They are a bad ass athlete but now throughout their life they have found that they can cheat and gain just that little edge. Steroids??? HGH??? Or the newest one, deer antler spray….

Ok, now that we have covered a few scenarios, lets spell out what we have really done to this 10 year old kid that is now for shits and giggles lets say 25 years old. We have allowed this now adult to think that it is ok to cheat. We have had 13 year olds playing with 10 year olds in sports dominating. We have let them think in their head they are better than they are by playing with kids younger than them… This set the stage.

We have a kid going through school thinking it must be ok to cheat in school because “my parents allowed me to cheat in sports or atleast allowed my team to cheat and turned the other cheek, why wouldn’t it be ok in school too?” Seems like mixed signals from parents right??? Win by any means necessary right???

Really what we end up with is a 22,23,24,25 year old yound adult that has gone through life with a skewed sense of reality. Competition got the best of them. Life always seemed easier that it really was because they never had to work through adversity:

1. Sports… lets just play with kids that are younger so I seem like a bad ass

2. School… ehh, I dont need to learn this, I will take the short cut and make a cheat sheet

3. Work… Why be the best, no one will know. I will just cheat.

At age 25 we have to many kids that come to an epiphany that life is hard because we allowed them to cheat until now. Now the corporate world kicks them in the ass and I think this is a big reason to the ENTITLEMENT mentality that our world has today…

They say kids are impressionable so love them, nurture them, teach them. This is so true… make sure the example to cheat does not start at home!

(these were random thoughts today and I was in a hurry to get to Crossfit so sorry if the thoughts are a little scattered today 🙂 )

Love Me Silly <3

One of my favorite things in the world is playing with my daughter.  Kids love to be silly and play around.  It is a way for you to show affection, show you care, develop a relationship, have fun, and bond.

Thinking about that makes me realize that being silly, playing with each other, wrestling etc… is one of the foundations that my relationship with my wife was built on.  When we first started dating we wrestled all the time.  I used to throw her over my shoulder, spin her around, toss her on the bed and just mess around all the time.

I realized that over the past few years and throughout this crazy thing called life we have gotten away from that… Adults love to be silly as well.  Being silly is the same for adults as it is for kids.  It is a way for you to show affection, show you care, develop a relationship, have fun, and bond. As we get older and the responsibilities start to kick in and life starts to take its jabs at us we should not forget what it was like to be a kid.

We cannot get away from what truly makes us happy.  Don’t forget about your family, kids, and friends… Don’t grow apart.  Cherish the little things, and by cherish I mean remember to do them. Goof off, have fun, make music videos (Chase), wrestle in the backyard with all of your buddies after having one to many drinks (Bobby, Ryan, Mikey, Elliot, Jon, Jeff), wrestle with your wife (Jenny), play make believe with your kids (Peyton), go out and dance like no one is watching (Sergio, Thomas, Eddie, N.E.S.T), play toothpick in the pool (all my friends)…

LOVE ME SILLY BECAUSE THAT IS THE BEST WAY TO LOVE! JENNY, PREPARE TO WRESTLE WHEN I GET HOME 😉

Don’t fight the funk…

No matter who you are, what you do, what you drive or what style of music you like, you know that you have found yourself rocking out to your favorite playlist on your way into the office.  You know what i am talking about… I mean really rocking out.  That rocking out where your head is bobbing, the feet are tapping, and your are signing like you are recording your debut album.

I am not really concerned about the signing, really what I am focusing on is that feeling you have deep down in your gut that you can do anything.  That music that is getting you totally amped to take on the day.  That feeling that no matter what the day throws at you, you are going to crush it…

For me, I listen to hip hop or rap on the way into the office.  I love the fact that they are talking about money, fame, hustling, being #1, grinding, being on top and doing it better than anyone before.  All these thoughts get me in the mindset to tackle any situation, customers, agents, processors, underwriters, agents etc… throughout the day.

Music has the ability to take you somewhere else if you let it.  The key is taking that energy that you have while you are in the car and carrying it with you throughout the day long after your engine has cooled off.  I actually will crank up the volume in my office and blast one of my favorite songs before I make an important call to an agent, buyer or seller… This ensures that I bring my A-game and all the positive energy.

Don’t fight the funk… Let the music take you away. 

I would love to hear comments on what your song is that takes you away….

Drive thru- F you!

Got your attention?

Do you ever see those people sit in the drive-thru every morning at Starbucks for 15 minutes?  Or at the bank?  Go to restaurants and never really talk to the servers and ask how they are doing?  Yeah, me too…

I go inside everywhere I go. I make conversation and get to know everyone because I like people and it builds relationships. My assistant Sophie always asks why I do that because it takes longer to go into the bank, or Starbucks etc…

My answer = I love going into Starbucks because I know everyone that works there.  They know me, my order, what time I come in, who my wife is, what I do for a living, my hobbies etc… These are called personal relationships.  Personal relationships are part of life and by simply going into Starbucks, the bank, restaurants, the dry cleaners, etc… and conversing with people I:

1. get to converse and meet people I otherwise would not have met

2. I expand my business because people always know what I do for a living (mortgages)

When people get to know you as a person it makes it easier for them to approach you for advice on whatever it is you do (for me real estate).  I cannot begin to tell you how many people I have ended up talking to for 45 minutes just because I bumped into them at one of these places.

You cannot be a secret agent or a ninja.  People need to know you, your name and what you do in order to request your services.  Next time you pick up a cup of Joe, snag a bite to eat, or pick up your clothes from the dry cleaners:

1. go inside,

2. ask the person behind the counter their name, and how they are doing.

3. repeat this step 5 times and watch the relationships start….

Sock it to me…

I think fashion says a lot about a person. Someone who is very mild mannered might be the person you see just wearing the khakis his wife bought him. The wild child might wear leather or sport a crazy hair style.

Me… Well I wear a shirt and tie every day to the office. Some might think that gets old and bland but I always find a way to throw in my own flavor. I am all over the place with tie/shirt combos and I must say I put together some pretty fly outfits, but one thing is for sure… You are always gonna find me with a fresh pair of socks. Take a look at the fun filled drawer at my house.

Try adding some color to your wardrobe and your life. It’s a good conversation starter… What’s your style????

Pencil in Success

You ever wonder how people got so succesful?  I do… when I see someone succeed I sit back take notes and figure out how I can implement what they do into my every day life.  

There are only so many hours in a day so it is 100% a level playing field.  BIll Gates has no more time in a day than I do.  Diddy, Mark Cuban, and Oprah all have 24 hours in a day… It is all what they do with the time we are all given.  This whole post is about a calendar.  They have stuff planned.  It is like clock work.  They wake up and have a schedule and they stick to it.  Have you ever seen an interview cut short because time ran short… I have.  Have you ever seen a celebrity being rushed to a car in a frenzy… I have.  Guess what these people that we all are watching and wondering how they did it have a plan and they stick to it.

Every single day I have ideas on how to grow my business and there is no doubt that it would work in my favor.  The problem is the time… Not that I dont have it, but I am still learning how to schedule it.  Every minute counts in the day… Every second lost at work is time I could have spent with my wife and daughter, time I could have spent with friends, time I could have spent at Crossfit, shout out to Crossfit Crowntown 🙂

I hear people say all the time that they want to make money but they are not willing to put in the work.  I also see some people say they want to make money, they get a little taste of it and then slack off.  Part of the work that is involved in being the best is not only the actual work in your field, but the brainstorming on how to work more efficiently and I really believe you need to plan…

Plan out your next two weeks down to the T.  Work, dinner, picking up dry cleaning, hair appointments, gym time, family time, alone time, making dinner, relaxing, grocery shopping, and everything else you can think of and watch your productivity shoot through the roof.  Productivy= results.  Results= Success. 

The art of the close…really???

A lot of times in business you hear people talk about how they can close.  They can sell ice to an eskimo, the clichés are endless…

Have we ever thought about being upfront and honest?  How about the truth for once?  I get so many people in my business (mortgages) that come to me with their guard up because they have heard all of the horror stories from the past 7 years.  Everyone knows that person that lost a house because they were put into a bad loan.  Everyone knows that person that was putting people into those loans.  Day in and day out I answer questions that people were told to ask by a friend or family member even though they have no idea what the answer they are looking for actually is.

I know for a fact that I lose business every week because I refuse to just tell my potential clients what they want to hear.  Unfortunately they will keep making phone calls until they find that mortgage lender that is so hard up for a deal that they will lie to get it. 

Instead I let people know I work for them.  I am a consultant, I ask questions and try to structure a loan to ones specific needs but in the end it is the buyers choice, we are simply here to guide them along the way.  I am kind of like that father that is teaching their child to ride a bike.  I run along side them to coach them, make sure they don’t fall on their face, and congratulate them when it is all over.

Think about how nice it would be if mortgage offices, car sales people, insurance agents, contractors, travel agents, real estate agents, mechanics, landlords, cell phone reps and whoever else you were buying things from could NOT lie to you… 

I have found if you treat people right the rest will take care of itself. 

 

“To Whom Much is Given,
Much is Required”

Fear of change = fear of life

I hear people say all the time that they fear change.  What is it that they really fear?  What if the change was for the better?   Why would anyone fear that… I think people fear the unknown, and failure.

When I was younger there was a small yogurt shop off imperial in Yorba Linda called Penguin’s that we used to go to as a family.  I remember one time my dad said to me that he would love to open his own business.  He also stated that if you are going to try new things it is good to do it when you are young because you have nothing to lose, and if you lost your @$$ on it you would have time to recoup your losses.  Those words my dad told me I never forgot (although I don’t think I ever told my dad I still think about that), and I know find myself in a position to want to make some moves, but need to make sure I set myself up for success.

Change is awesome if it is for the better.  So if you are going to change something make sure you come out on top.  How do you do that?  Planning, research, determination, and a mindset that you cannot fail is crucial.  You have to go into something with a little bit of an edge, a little bit of the “my $h!t doesn’t stink mentality” in order not have a reservation, or the hesitation that some others would.

How does one know what they are capable of if they never push their limits?  Here are some things to think about:

What I tell these young people is, the world is not as dangerous as the older generation would like you to believe. Anyone I know who has ever taken a risk and lost a job has ended up getting a better one two years later. – Jonathan Kozol

Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – e. e. Cummings

It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win. – John Paul Jones

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. – T. S. Eliot

You don’t concentrate on risks. You concentrate on results. No risk is too great to prevent the necessary job from getting done. – Chuck Yeager

REALLY ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU WOULD DO IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD NOT FAIL!  MAKE A LIST OF 10 THINGS… SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO AND WATCH YOUR LIFE CHANGE.

3-2-1 GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The annual pass…

Do you ever have those places that you absolutley love? I mean those places where you feel like you can accomplish anything? Those places that make you feel like a kid again? Those places that get the wheels turning on how to get more done and how to become a better person? Those places that leave you feeling refreshed?? I do but I find that I do not go as often as I should so I find myself sitting here asking why?

My places:

1. Church:

When I am in church (I grew up in the churhc, my dad is a pastor) I feel awesome. I feel like I can accomplish anything (Insert “If he is with me, who can be against me” quote here). I feel like it gets me thinking about how to become a better person, how to live your day to day life just a little better. I know this is bad but in turn I always wonder how this is going to help my business…

2. The book store

I dont know if it is just me but the book store always has me feeling like I can be anything I want to be. It gets my creative juices flowing. Really in there I can be anything I want to be, or learn about any and everything possible. Do you ever see those people squatting in the corner of the book store? I love it… I used to do this all the time by myself when I lived in L.A. Grab a coffee, my journal, random books about stuff I knew nothing about and just sail away. I always end up back at business though… My brain wanders back into money making mode on how I can get better at what I do, become a better leader for my team, or start a new venture.

3. My wife’s dad’s house

I dont know why but my wife’s dad’s house is SO relaxing to me. It is in central California, it is not a mansion or oasis by any means but it is my get away. We go up there once or twice a year but every time we leave I think man we need to do this more often. It is a nice single story house with a big back yard for my wife and her family to throw a football around, go swimming and just lounge around. I dont get away from work to often but when I am at my in-laws… I am on a break.

I guess my thought is that if I have these places why do I visit them so rarely?? If you notice all of them are free with no admittance fee. There is no cover charge or gate keeper. Heck this is my version of Disneyland, I can learn about myself and who I am today and look to tomorrow land on how to become a better person.

What are your places? How often do you visit? Is it as often as you should? Why don’t you go more often? Do you share this place/places with anyone else?

Two Ears One Mouth…

So the owner of my company always reminds me of this little quote.  “two ears, one mouth.  Use them in that proportion!”

I find myself guilty of this quite often not only in sales but in life.  Now I catch other people doing it to me and now I can often be found telling one of my assistants “there is a difference between listening, and waiting to talk.”  I was telling my assistant the same thing over and over but he was not retaining the information that I was giving him.

Think about everything we miss when we are just waiting to talk while someone else’s lips are moving. 

1. Do we miss the point of a story?

2. Do we miss a chance to learn something?

3. Do we miss the opportunity to learn something about a loved one, friend, or client?

4. Do we ignore our children and discourage them from opening up to us?

The answer to that is most likely YES but how will you ever really know because you were to busy structuring your next thought in your head.  I think that we can all be a better spouse, friend, salesman/ saleswoman and overall just a better person if we remember “two ears one mouth, use them in that proportion.” and “there is a difference between listening and waiting to talk.”

Honestly sit back for a few minutes and think if you are guilty of this…  You might be surprised!