Born to live

Well a year has gone by since the twins (Charlie and Reese) were born. Totally easy for me to remember because 8/24 is Kobe Bryant day in Los Angeles!!! Whoop whoop!!!   It is also a year that has gone by since the day that I almost lost my wife and our four kiddos almost lost their momma.  Life is completely full of ups and downs, twist and turns and so many expected and unexpected events.  Mommy and the twins are doing great but it has been a challenge FOR SURE…

One thing we have learned is that the comments you get when you are the parents of twins from those who do not have twins are completely and utterly opposite of those that you get from parents who actually do have twins!

Not Parents of Twins:

• “OMG you have twins?!?! You are so lucky!!!”
• “OMG my dream is to have twins when I get older and have kids!”
• “OMG that must be SO. MUCH. FUN!!!”
• “OMG are they identical?”
• “OMG do they do everything the same?”

Parents of Twins:

• “OMG, it is so hard having twins!”
• “Don’t worry, it gets a little easier when they hit 2 years old” (holy shit we have another year of this????)
• “Other parents just don’t understand”
• “This is the hardest thing in the world…”

The last year of our lives was probably the hardest year of our lives and ultimately I wouldn’t change a thing (except for my wife being on an emergency operating table for 8 hours).  Social media has a way of making life look like romantic dates, mornings sipping on coffee from a perfect oversized mug, cuddling in bed every morning, gourmet meals for every meal and perfect outfits each and every day for every event imaginable.  The reality that we all live is actually quite the contrary… day in and day out my house is chaotic, hectic, frustrating, messy, and exhausting.

When I wake up in the morning I am usually out of the house before the troops wake up but my wife’s day is usually somewhat documented for me on social media… We get the videos of the babies playing, the babies dressed up in cute outfits and things like that, but you want to know what is not documented.  The shit that happens when both twins are screaming because they are teething, you don’t see when both babies are crying uncontrollably because they are tired yet they won’t nap.  You don’t see when both babies poop and throw up at the same time.  You don’t see both babies needing to be held because they want mom but when she is holding them they pull each other’s hair and gouge each other’s eyes.  You don’t see Elliott or Peyton wanting to go outside and play with mom but she has to tend to the twins. You don’t see Elliott climbing in the pantry, grabbing the scissors and trying to sneak off with them to cut God knows what. You don’t see Peyton throwing attitude because she most likely just wants attention. You don’t see Peyton and Elliott fighting over any and every toy that is God’s gift to toys right now but neither one has played with for months until the other one picked it up. There are no oversized coffee mugs here… (Well there is but the coffee is getting cold and definitely not getting sipped on).

When I get home I never know what I am walking into. I usually get home about 6:15-6:30pm… Did the twins nap at all during the day? Did Elliott nap or is he cranky pants? Who’s fighting? Who is screaming? Who didn’t listen to mom throughout the day? Have the kids been fed? Who needs a bath? Does Jenny need a break? The twins need to get into pajamas about 7pm and get fed but Peyton and Elliott want daddy time also now that I am home. Peyton has homework, Elliott wants to wrestle, Jenny needs help with the twins… The twins are in their jammies, I watch one, Jenny feeds one, I play with Peyton and Elliott at the same time, Jenny comes out switches babies and feeds the other one. She is done feeding now off to bed for the twins… We put the twins down. Get Elliott’s teeth brushed, Peyton’s teeth brushed and fight with Elliott for 10 minutes as to why he has to go to bed but Peyton doesn’t (yes this is every night). We put him to bed and immediately he is “hungry”… We bring him a snack and walk out then hear “daddy, daddy, daddy, mommy, mommy, mommy… I am thirsty”. We bring him water and walk out… then we hear “daddy, daddy, daddy, mommy, mommy, mommy… I need to go potty”. So he is finally down about 8:30. Then it is Peyton’s turn and she has mastered the art of keeping me and Jenny in the room each for at least 15 minutes so about 9:00-9:15pm all the kids are down… If we are lucky (or Jenny) we make it to 10pm without one of the twins waking up… We usually are in bed about 10:30 and the twins are almost always up about 11pm and then Jenny is on their schedule. Day in and day out Jenny and I get to converse here and there while kids are vying for our attention as well… just hit repeat and do it all again tomorrow.

Having twins is definitely unique, it is definitely “fun”, it is cool, and awesome but it is the hardest thing ever.  My wife has not slept an entire night in a year and she has done it gracefully and willingly.  We had a night nurse for 7 months that helped from 7pm- 6am and this shit was still incredibly hard.  One kid now seems like a breeze and Jenny and I have had a really hard time figuring out or trying to guess when it gets easier. The truth is we don’t know… we have never had twins before so we have nothing to go off of and no two sets of twins are alike but one thing I do know is that we will push through and figure it out as we go… So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Charlie and Reese, we love you!